The Phrases shared by A Dad That Saved Us as a Brand-New Dad

"I believe I was just just surviving for the first year."

Former reality TV star Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the difficulties of being a father.

But the reality rapidly proved to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Serious health issues during the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was thrust into becoming her main carer as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I handled all the nights, every change… every walk. The role of both mum and dad," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he burnt out. It was a chat with his own dad, on a park bench, that made him realise he required support.

The direct phrases "You're not in a good spot. You need assistance. In what way can I assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and find a way back.

His situation is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now more accustomed to talking about the stress on mums and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers go through.

Asking for help is not weak to request support'

Ryan thinks his difficulties are symptomatic of a broader reluctance to communicate between men, who often hold onto damaging perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It's not a sign of failure to request help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - especially in preference to a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental health is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the chance to ask for a respite - spending a few days overseas, outside of the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He realised he had to make a change to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the practical tasks of taking care of a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd failed to notice "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That insight has transformed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the expression of emotional life and interpret his decisions as a father.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen did not have reliable male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, profound trauma meant his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says bottling up emotions resulted in him make "bad decisions" when younger to modify how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as a way out from the anguish.

"You find your way to substances that don't help," he explains. "They might briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Managing as a New Father

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling under pressure, confide in a friend, your other half or a counsellor how you're feeling. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel less isolated.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the pursuits that helped you to feel like yourself before becoming a parent. Examples include exercising, socialising or playing video games.
• Look after the physical stuff - a good diet, physical activity and where possible, resting, all play a role in how your mental state is doing.
• Meet other new dads - sharing their journeys, the messy ones, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help isn't failing - taking care of you is the best way you can care for your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the passing, having been out of touch with him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead offer the stability and nurturing he lacked.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - managing the feelings safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their pain, altered how they talk, and taught themselves to control themselves for their children.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a letter to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, on occasion I feel like my job is to teach and advise you on life, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I am discovering just as much as you are through this experience."